What’s Right For You
Instinctively, we tend to put the needs of our relativies ahead of our own. And, you’re probably doing just that. However, your needs are important, too. For the sake of both you and your relations, it is essential to strike an appropriate balance.
Perhaps you’re feeling overwhelmed, tired, scared, sad, alone, discouraged, or depressed. These feelings are all perfectly natural.
Here are some tips to help you through this difficult time:
- Care for yourself! Otherwise, you will exhaust your own emotional and physical resources.
- Call relatives, sitters, home-helpers, or respite care professionals when you need a break.
- Don’t be afraid to communicate your needs to your relatives.
- Find outlets. Exercising, walking or talking to others will help deal with stress.
- Keep your options open.
- Do your own research.
- Learn as much as you can about the disease or illness.
- Work with your relativies doctor.
- Communicate with your relativies.
- Stay focused on the immediate need. Do one thing at a time.
- Join support groups. They can validate your experiences.
Support groups offer a forum to discuss your feelings. Through support groups, you’ll find out you’re not alone. You’ll discover that many of the feelings you’re experiencing are shared by other members of the group. Typically these feelings include:
Feeling guilty because . . .
- you cannot respond to your relativies every need.
- you spent time away from your relation.
- you mistreated your relation in the past.
Feeling angry because . . .
- family members don’t help out.
- you feel trapped in the situation.
Feeling . . .
- Powerless?
- Embarrassed by your relatives behaviour?
- Stressed?
And, finally, some words of wisdom . . .
- Your relations well being depends on your well being.
- If you’re tired and under stress, your risk of illness or accident increases.
- There is no “right” way to feel.
- Your feelings affect your judgement.
- Difficult and uncontrollable episodes can wear out even the most patient person.
- It is only human to be angry when faced with burdens or losses.
- Focus your attention on the present, not the past.
- Respect your relation.
- The more informed you are, the better equipped you are to handle a situation.
- Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re a failure.
- If you can no longer cope with caring for your loved one and feel you might not be able to avoid causing them harm by leaving them at risk or harm them. Then you need to contact your local Social Services adult team who will be able to help you.
